My second trimester pregnancy loss (at 20 weeks)

I got pregnant by surprise. In fact - it was nothing short of a miracle - except I didn't realize it at the time. I found out when I was 11 weeks pregnant. The story of how I found out was actually kind of interesting. I was driving into town one day, and I suddenly felt really really tired. Not tired - like I should go and take a nap tired, but tired like my eyes are closing right now. I was cruising in the speeding lane, and I noticed a loud fast thumping sound. That was me waking up as my car started skidding into the barriers in the speeding lane! It hit me - I had just fallen asleep!


Completely freaked out, I drove straight to the doctor's office. I simply told them what happened and said I'm not leaving here until you tell me what's wrong with me. They ran tests on me for hours. I went from one office to another. They thought I had a virus, thought I had a UTI, thought I had some kind of infection, and then hours into it - one doctor came in and said... ummm... you might want to sit down for this. I sit down - and he's like you're pregnant! We do an ultrasound and confirm I'm 11 weeks pregnant. How could I have gone almost 3 months without knowing I was pregnant? In retrospect - it was actually pretty easy - I was PCOS and having a period was a rare event for me anyway!


Moving forward, at about 19 weeks and 6 days, that evening, I wasn't feeling so hot. It wasn't anything major but I felt a little bit uncomfortable. I didn't think so much of it because I was scheduled for a doctor's appointment the next day. I distinctly remember going to the bathroom before sleeping, and I saw a little extra yellow discharge in the toilet. It wasn't a huge amount, I wasn't in pain, and it really didn't seem that significant. I went to bed, and then in the morning drove myself to the doctor's office. When I got examined, the doctor's eyes got real wide. He stepped out for a bit, came back in a few minutes and said - you have to go to the hospital immediately - the labor and delivery entrance. You're 4 cm dilated!!! Are you sure you're not in any pain? 

I was in complete shock. I was in no pain, and had no discomfort. I called my husband and told him to meet me there. I got to the hospital and was admitted and put in a critical care ward in  Labor and Delivery. There I got the news, I was in danger of losing my baby. They put me in the Trendelenburg position. It's sort of a way to raise your legs over your hips to help the baby "slide" back in and reduce pressure on the cervix. The picture to the left is an example of it.


That experience was a blur of nurses and doctors. People would randomly come in, lift the sheet and poke around there and move on. I distinctly remember telling the nurse that I am this child's mother, and she's not coming until I say so. Hollow words in a dire situation. The doctor's wanted to put in an emergency cerclage but I started to get contractions. My contractions wouldn't stop. On day 3 of this wait-and-see game, I felt some moisture between my legs. I called a nurse who did a test for amniotic fluid and gave me the bad news. My water had broken - and my baby wasn't going to make it. I then prepared myself to deliver my baby knowing she had no chance of making it at 20 weeks. 


Another thing I didn't realize... at 20 weeks - you go through a full delivery - except you come out empty handed. I had an epidural put in and the doctor warned me that the baby might cry but I shouldn't take that as a sign she will make it - it wasn't possible. Fortunately our baby died in childbirth and I didn't have to hear her die. The delivery was fine. The nurses wrapped the baby in a blanket and left her in an incubator for me. I took one look, but I refused to get too fixated on it. I never named her either. I sort of needed to accept what happened and to move on. The rest was pretty standard, I recovered, was released from hospital and was sent home. I was an emotional wreck but I got through it. 


I'm a bit tired now - so I'll pick up later with the next piece of this story .... what happened when we realized that the placenta was not fully delivered and I was still passing chunks of tissue days later!


Part 2 of this post is here : http://pcosflowerchica.blogspot.com/2011/03/my-second-trimester-pregnancy-loss-at_25.html