Got my appointments scheduled - now the wait begins...

I think the only thing worse than waiting to find out what your results are... is waiting to get your appointment to start the process to find out what your results will be. After my miserable Friday where my doc was kind enough to tell me there's a mass on my ovary... that probably isn't cancer.... but still needs to be checked out..... I was up bright and bushy-tailed this morning calling the endocrinologist and oncologist that my OB referred me to.

Well my oncologist office told me that they can get me in within 2 weeks. Sheesh - 2 more weeks of me + Dr. Google.... fun times! I shouldn't have complained, because then the endocrinologist called me and let me know I could get an appointment at the end of May. Sheesh X 2! Good thing I'm not having a crisis! So I've got 2 weeks before I can get the ball rolling on my mass issue. And then the endocrinlogist will confirm my PCOS again and then let me know if I need to go back on Metformin. Oh and total side note - don't you HATE filling out new patient paperwork? Why can't we just get a decent electronic medical record system set up?

I really feel crappy that my hiatus from the drama of dealing with PCOS ended and here I am again - wondering why my reproductive system is so defective. I mean, when you have infertility and you decide to try and overcome it, you're definitely in for a serious battle. But you tell yourself, I'm going to do everything I possibly can to overcome this. You psych yourself up for a serious battle. I used to joke, I'm going to go on until I'm broke or I'm a mother - whichever happens first! Fortunately I'm a mother now, but it seems that the fight for my reproductive system isn't over yet. Ugh. So maybe I'm just going to change my battle motto to - I'm going to go until I go broke or I have a fully functional reproductive system. Whichever happens first!

As if PCOS wasn't enough - now a mass (hopefully fibroid) on my ovary??

Ugh... I am ashamed to admit it - I actually got suckered into thinking that since I was having periods.... I might just be fertile for the first time in my life. Well so much for that misconception. I finally went for my annual checkup - only 3 months late. I've been having periods for the first time in my life - so yeah ... I really did think I might just be fertile. At best I thought well... maybe finally being pregnant has ironed out the kinks in my ovaries - and maybe my PCOS was gone.

Well I went in with my little one for my appointment. I totally expected this to be a routine visit. I spoke with the doctor after he examined me, mentioned that I was having regular periods, but I wasn't sure if my PCOS was gone. I asked him about metformin and whether I should be going back on it. He suggested I get an sonogram before I left. So I waited and got my sonogram. As I was watching my insides on the screen - what's that I see - a string of pearls around my ovary. Ugh... well it seems that my PCOS is still in effect - ugh. That didn't really bother me so much.

Then the ultrasound tech asked me .... do  you have a history of fibroids? I told her no. Well she continues and says.... hmmmm I see a dark area on your left ovary. I think we need to have your doctor look at this before you leave today.  I was still OK with that. After all, I know plenty of folk with fibroids. Why should I be concerned? So back to the waiting room again. Finally when the doctor saw me, he said, well you still have PCOS but there's a mass on your left ovary. Of course in my head I'm like... why isn't he calling this a fibroid? I know it's probably just a moot point, but hey, if it was nothing, why did I have to wait for the doctor to review? He kept saying, I really don't think it's cancer, but I want to be absolutely sure. Again, I'm still feeling pretty good at this point. Then he talks about how he's referring me to an oncologist and an endocrinologist. Ugh wait... what... oncologist? endocrinologist? OK - but this must just be routine ..... that's what I kept telling myself. Then he turns around and says - we just want to make sure you are alive to take care of your little one. well!  All sense of confidence just shot out the window at that point. Although I have nothing to base this on - I feel like it's ok. I am refusing to think that I have cancer until someone actually tells me I do. But this experience has me somewhat freaked out. I can't make an appointment with the specialists until Monday morning - so it's just me and my thoughts... and maybe Dr. Google until then...... Ugh X 2.