Medela - I am on to you!

I rented a hospital grade pump today. I had one in the beginning but then decided to switch and get my own pump. So I shelled out close to 300 bucks for the Medela In-Style. I noticed the first time that I used it I got slightly less than when I was using the hospital one - but I expected that. I also noticed that it took a bit longer to pump - but I expected that as well. After all  the hospital pump costs $1200+ .

Well if you've been following my blog you'll note that my pumping had become a bit of a nightmare. It was taking longer and longer to get a letdown and then it started taking 45 minutes to get a letdown. And then there's the pain and discomfort that comes with having to pump for that long. I also noticed that the way my nipples moved in the phalanges was different between the two pumps.

Out of desperation getting this pump again was one of several things I've been doing to get my pumping in order. What's amazing is that I got the pump today and decided to pump when I got home. My breasts were not especially full but I got 5 ounces in 20 minutes! It was like watching little waterfalls pouring out of my nips! What the hell? Just yesterday I was suffering as my personal pump was taking forever. I would pump for an hour ( in the morning) and get 2 ounces if I'm lucky and only 1  letdown. I was sitting in the dark, envisioning my baby, sniffing her dirty laundry, envisioning her, and every other half assed suggestion about how to "will a letdown". So you know what I think?

I think Medela makes a good pump - the $1200 symphony hospital grade pump. Oh and by the way - when you rent one - even though it's through a vendor - you're renting from Medela! I think they make the other personal use pumps cheaper and less effective. I think that unless you're a person who responds well to the cheaper pump, you'll eventually need the hospital grade one - or perhaps lose your supply. So Medela makes money on both sides: first by getting you to rent the hospital one to get your supply up, then by getting you to buy a personal pump that may or may not work, and then thirdly back to rentals when you have to go and get another hospital grade pump.

So maybe it's just a conspiracy theory on my side but I think Medela is screwing with us!

Yep - It finally happened - I had to milk myself like a cow

So I've had to suffer another indignity. I had to milk myself like a cow - literally into a bowl. Before I can really elaborate on exactly what that means - I guess I should explain what led me up to this point.

If you've read my blog you'll have noticed that I'm not the biggest fan of breastfeeding. That being said - I've committed to breastfeeding my baby. It's not that I don't agree with all of the wonderful benefits of doing it ( healthy baby, lower risk of girly part cancers, and did I mention the awesome weight control???). It's just that it really does suck. It's a time sink, it's inconvenient, oh yeah and it hurt like hell.  And for any person that claims it's a painless process  - I'll be more than happy to post pictures of the flesh covered teeth that my baby is sporting as gums!

Anyway - 5 weeks into my baby chomping on my nipples to her heart's content - she finally latched in a civilized manner. All of a sudden, by 6 weeks of age, my baby was being nursed at 95% breastmilk. Sorry - I give her formula at night so she doesn't wake up every 3 hours. I digress! So before the breastfeeding went well - I was pumping. I was actually getting good at it. I could get up to 7 ounces in a session. Seeing that my baby eats 2 - 3 ounces in a feeding - that's perfect. Then something strange started happening in week 10 - 11.

For starters - I have a dominant breast. My right breast produces about 3 times what my left one does. Lately when I start nursing my baby on my left - she throws a tantrum. It's almost as if she is telling me, "Woman - how DARE you give me this dry breast! You know there ain't much going on here!" The first time she did it - I chalked it up to moodiness. The second time in a row I started to wonder and by the third time - I realized she didn't like my left breast anymore - UGH!

Now stepping back - around week 10 - I noticed that I was beginning to have trouble getting a decent amount of milk out of the pump. I could pump for 30 minutes before I got a letdown and if I did get a letdown - it was just an ounce or so. This was incredibly frustrating seeing as I knew I was able to nurse my baby exclusively on my breast. That basically means - the milk is in there  - it just won't go out.

So fas forward to week 12. Here I am, suffering on the pump for over an hour just to get 3 ounces of milk. Of course if I pump that long, my nipples are sore and then I can't nurse. If I pump for just 20 minutes - I'm lucky to get 1/4 ounce. So I'm stuck in this quandary. I got desperate so I started trying a few things :

1. snorting my baby's hair before pumping to trick my body into thinking she's near 
2. taking deep whiffs of my baby's clothing while pumping
3. Getting a bigger cup size for the pump
4. Increasing the intensity of the pump ( OUCH ) 
5. Visualizing waterfalls when pumping  (this worked only once)
6. Manually expressing my milk ( the motivation for today's post)
7. Calling my lactation consultant and asking for help ( that's where I am right now )

So item #6 - manually expressing. Yes you can milk yourself. It's not pretty. It's not dignified. In fact it looks damn ridiculous. In case you're wondering how it works - I was using the marmet technique: click here for a video of how it works. I found myself sitting topless, breast in hand, massaging my breast and pushing down to my nipples only to see a small stream of milk spraying into a bowl. Yes this is what I have been reduced to. Just like with a cow's udders, I'm doing a yanking motion to get some milk out. If only my 20-year-old self could see me now!! So I milked and I milked and I realized very quickly - that the comment on the video of the technique ( it's a fabulous alternative to an electric pump) was very deceptive. Yes I got milk but my hands got tired very quickly. I can literally fall asleep on a breast pump but with this technique - if the hands stop - so does the milk....

So I did it - and no I didn't feel good about it. In fact - I did it out of desperation because my nipples were too sore to nurse or pump  but I need to drain my breasts. Every time I've done what I thought was the most awkward thing I've ever done.... new motherhood offers me a new low!

2 weeks after delivery and back to pre-pregnancy weight - Take that PCOS!

9 months ago - I had this fear. Having PCOS, I was convinced that I was going to have to eat like a bird to prevent my weight from exploding. After all, PCOS has conditioned me into having a love-hate relationship with food. Yet somehow, during this pregnancy, my weight has been awesome. In fact it's been better than awesome. I went through the bulk of my pregnancy not having gained more than 15 lb. Then in the last week I gained 6 lb and then I delivered. Who knows what that 6lb was.

I'm proud to say, I'm already packing away my maternity wear. I was so jazzed to pull out my size 10 ultra low-rise jeans and they fit! In fact they had some room to spare and needed a belt :) I hopped on the scale and I'm right at my pre-pregnancy weight. Only 2 weeks after delivering my baby. I feel so lucky. It seems that somehow although PCOS has wreaked havoc on my body, I got a free pass in this pregnancy. I didn't gain any huge amounts of weight. My weight came right off and Id on't seem to have extra fat stores.

Now I do have my pooch and my tummy is a bit stretched out more than it was - but I'm feeling confident that it will return to it's not so impressive but not so noteworthy state.

I'm also breastfeeding - well attempting to. I had fears about having no milk or low milk supply. I really should have been afraid of my baby chomping on my nipples like a barracuda! That being said, I'm able to breastfeed her ( with formula supplements) and I'm pumping as well. So who knows.... with the lack of weight gain and the breastfeeding, I might actually come out at a good 10 lb under my pre-pregnancy weight. Any time that a cyster can end up in a situation where weight loss comes easy... we should celebrate!