So 16 days into bedrest and it's just me and my thoughts! My cerclage seems to be holding just nicely. I feel like a turkey. Well - I mean - I have a cerclage. It's holding my cervix shut for now. I'm doing my part - resting every single day to make sure I don't aggravate it. However, with my cervix shortened right down to the stitches, I really do feel like the cerclage really is the only thing holding this baby in. I've been quoted to say things like - I'll sit with my legs in the air for 6 months if I have to - to bring this baby into the world. So much easier said than done. Yet if I have to do it - I'll do it.
The hidden stressor with all of this - especially with bedrest is that you simply can't relax ever. Every twinge, every low baby kick, every bit of discharge - just scares me. I don't know if that's the twinge that signifies if something's wrong. Worse yet - if it is the twinge and I ignore it - will it be the one sign that something was wrong - that I ignored - and therefore didn't get medical help in time? I don't want to be THAT woman who is always in the Labor and Delivery Ward for monitoring at the hospital because she has symptoms that medical science will prove weren't really the case. Also, will my doctor's take me as serious if I'm always calling with false claims? It's oh so strange - what to do what to do.
I decided that I'd wait for an undeniable symptom. A serious cramp that won't go away....a gush of fluid... some yellow discharge (what happened with my last pregnancy / miscarriage).... or some spotting. Other than that... I'll just lie here and assess how things are going. My only consolation is that I see my doctors often with roughly 8 appointments with a medical practitioner per month. If that's not close monitoring - I don't know what is. Of course 4 of those are just with nurses, but at least I can ask them questions if I feel strange.
So all that's left is to sit here and contemplate that my stitches need to hold until this baby is fully cooked! It amuses me to think of what my battle to have a baby has reduced me to!
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