That being said - here's my two cents. I sit on forums for women who are TTC with infertility and you see those women - the ones who are bitter. They have been TTC and have a very nasty attitude towards women who have already been pregnant. It always starts with some rant about hating to go to baby showers. Perhaps they reference a friend who has been trying with them and got pregnant before they do. They escalate to resenting pregnant women. That resentment escalates to include women who have had their children.
But why should an infertile woman hate women who have overcome their fertility, become pregnant, and/or had kids? What exactly did those women do ? And more so - how can you hate someone that has achieved what you are trying to do? What is it about infertility that brings so much negativity? We already have to battle so much in our lives, internal pressures, pressures from in-laws and parents, fears, emotions, he pain of BFNs, the pain of dashed hopes, the discomforts and pains of fertility treatments, the pain of miscarriages, and the emotional strain of it all. Should we really be adding negativity to the mix?
Yes we can sometimes feel incomplete because of our inability to rear children. Yes we can feel bad about our journey to fertility when we see the successes of others. But what kind of mothers will we be if we harbor so much jealousy and resentment before our children are born. And once we have those children - what kind of mothers will be be? Will we be self loathing because we've become the very people that we've resented so much? Do we suddenly forget that we were once envious of pregnant women? What kind of maturity does this resentment show?
I know that infertiles are often susceptible to emotional issues. After all many of us have hormonal issues. With hormonal issues comes emotional issues. But that's all the more reason we should make the extra effort not to be difficult. So to the bitter infertile I say - celebrate with your friend who has become pregnant. Go to your friend's baby shower - because you would want them to be happy for you. Be willing to hang out with your loved ones / friends and their kids because you would want them to do it for you. But more so - remember that child rearing is a miracle ( whether you have battled infertility or not) and it should always be celebrated.
