An Infertility Warrior: Today's random pregnancy thought.... the ambivalence of feeling baby kicks

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Today's random pregnancy thought.... the ambivalence of feeling baby kicks

I love the fact that my baby kicks all the time, but every kick reminds me that my cervix is incompetent... and I get a little scared....

No comments:

Post a Comment

Link to Me

Or use this Widget installer to add this link to your blogger blog.

2010-2011 Cervix Watch

My little tale

I'm not a classic PCOS case.. most of my hormones are in line. I'm not obese, and I'm overweight but I don't battle too much with my weight. My ovaries look like a bunch of grapes on an ultrasound. My cervix is like a wet paper towel - just waiting for you to put some pressure on it. I'm an IVF graduate and desperately trying to hang onto my current pregnancy. Despite it all - I refuse to give up and to feel any despair - I've been too busy trying to become a mother! I lost my first daughter due to incompetent cervix at 20 weeks pregnant. I survived 104 days on bedrest with gestational diabetes and with an incompetent cervix that tried to give out on its own. I managed to have a daughter by IVF in 2011 but was knocked back by a non-cancerous tumor that swallowed one of my ovaries just a year later.

I'm the proud mother of an IVF baby girl and I'm now contemplating life as an infertile mother and a woman who's now on a mission to reclaim her body from the grips of PCOS, a rogue tumor, and its insane ability to wreak havoc on my reproductive and now endocrine system. I just got hit with a surprise BFP - and I'm back on a mission to see if this is the real deal or not....

My fertility timeline

Before I knew there was a serious problem:

never -
Had a normal period

2004 -
Surprise BFP @ 11 weeks
Miscarriage 9 weeks later @ 20 weeks
Spontaneous dilation
Diagnosis of Incompetent Cervix
Put on Birth Control

Signs that there might be a real problem:

2007 -
Came off BCP - no periods
Provera cycles
3 rounds of clomid - no ovulation!

2008 -
Diagnosed with PCOS by endocrinologist without bloodwork or ultrasound

The TTC Mission Begins!

2009 -
Moved to Reproductive Endocrinologist
Got real PCOS diagnosis

2010 -
Spent half a year losing weight and doing diagnostic work
July - Started IVF Cycle
August - OHSS and BFN
October - FET - BFP!!!

2011 -
Jan - Cerclage - we're having a girl!
Feb - Cervix starts shortening - modified bed rest + 17p shots
March - Started corticosteroids - reached viability!
May - Confirmed I have gestational diabetes :(
June - Cerclage Removed - labor watch begins
July 9th - Induction Scheduled
July 9th - Our Baby Was Born!

2012
April - Mass is discovered on my left ovary
May - Referred to oncologist and endocrinologist
June - Ultrasounds and MRI - tumor confirmed
July - Robotic surgery to remove benign tumor. 1 ovary lost

2013
Oct - Start of last period

2014
Jan - Surprise BFP
Mar - Cerclage

Pages

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Today's random pregnancy thought.... the ambivalence of feeling baby kicks

No comments:

Post a Comment