Bedrest just ain't all that. Even though mine is modified rest, allowing me to get up and walk to the kitchen and shower daily, sometimes I just get tired of looking at these walls. Eventually you run out of entertaining things to do. I have television, I have video games, I've got PC games, I have a laptop, I have my blog, I have friends who visit, I have my dear husband and my dear mother here - but all I really want is freedom. I feel guilty wanting that freedom because I know staying put will give my baby a chance. I know I've resigned that I'ld stick my legs in the air for 9 months if that's what it took to have this baby - but that is always so much easier said than done!
So here I am at 10 pm at night. I've killed my 5th saturday here at home doing pretty much nothing. I've been subjected to a meteor-themed marathon of movies on the Sci-Fi channel. Now I LOVE a B-movie to pass the time - but 6 hours of movies on meteors.... wow! I think I lost a few IQ points on this today.
Now what about hobbies... well I finished my latest 2 blankets and then I made a green and white pair of baby booties as well. My DH made a nice bbq today which was nice as well. The highlight of my day, when DH brought home my latest baby purchase from the post office - the crib bedding - woohoo!
I just wonder - with all of the toys, gadgets, media, television, etc - why am I so frustrated?? I am tired of looking at these walls... I'm tired of camping on the couch. I'm tired of lying down. I'm tired of having people carry things for me and always telling me to just sit down. I just long for a time where I can go and do whatever I want. What will I do when I get free...... when I'm healthy I'm going to go for a nice run. Then I'm going to drink a mean margarita that night. I have this funny feeling with the exclusive breastfeeding I plan to do..... that is going to be quite some time from now.
I have 11 more weeks of this. Possibly as many as 14 more weeks of this. I just don't even know what I need to make this right. I just know that although this feels necessary - it doesn't feel good.
I'm sorry. What you're feeling sounds perfectly normal and anyone in your situation would get cabin fever after a while. How about reading? I can recommend some good stuff depending on what you're into. Wish there was a way I could speed up time for you. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteHey - I'd be more than happy if you sent a reading list. Anything to keep busy :)
ReplyDeleteList of books I've enjoyed recently
ReplyDeleteAuthor - Janet Evanovich - Stephanie Plum series (One for the Money, Two for the Dough etc)
Author - J.K. Rowling - Harry Potter Series
Author - Yann Martel - Life Of Pi
Author - Suzanne Collins - The Hunger Games Trilogy
Author - Neil Gaiman - Coraline - Stardust - The Graveyard Book
Author - John Grogan - Marley & Me
Author - Dan Brown - Angels & Demons - The DaVinci Code
Author - Lauren Weisberger - The Devil Wears Prada
Author - Lois Lowry - The Giver
Author - Paulo Coelho - The Alchemist
Author - Sue Monk Kidd - The Mermaid Chair - The Secret Life of Bees
Author - John Grisham - Playing for Pizza
Author - Melissa Bank - The Girls' Guide to Hunting and Fishing
Author Kaye Gibbons - Ellen Foster
Just a few to get you started :)
Whoa that's quite a list - thanks so much for this - I'll get started.
ReplyDelete