If you've been reading my blog, you'll notice I often start a post with "I can't believe we've come this far". That's because it's true. This has been such a harrowing journey that it's been very hard to visualize the end approaching. There were so many opportunities for things to go wrong. If I think about starting with an unexpected pregnancy that was discovered at 11 weeks. Then I lost that pregnancy 9 weeks later with a spontaneous dilation because of incompetent cervix. There's nothing as crappy as walking into a monthly appointment (Excited) and being told - you have to go to Labor and Delivery. Then 3 days later feeling your water break and knowing your baby won't make it.
Then spending another 5 years trying to actually get pregnant. That was a blur of excessive exercise, weight loss, diets, metformin aka glucophage, a 4 month stint of explosive diarrhea, a year's worth of fertility diagnostic work, a round of IVF (with a BFN), a mild case of OHSS, a frozen egg transfer, acupuncture, and finally a BFP. And as if that wasn't enough, a surgery to put in my cerclage ( stitches on my cervix to strengthen it), a cervix that decided to shorten 8 weeks later, 15 weeks of bedrest at home (which I'm 11 weeks into), and now gestational diabetes!
You'll find that I repeat it often but I believe to speak about personal challenges is to release yourself from the hold they have over you. I'm not ashamed of what I'm dealing with. My fertility battle is simply not something I'm ashamed of. As I manage to overcome these hurdles, I get more and more confident that we're going to make this happen.
So now onto the reason that I actually wanted to post today! My 32 week perinatologist appointment went great. Our baby is now 4 lb and 11 ounces. As she gets bigger and bigger I envision the risks of her being born early get smaller and smaller. The doctor told me she's showing no signs of abnormal growth from the gestational diabetes - and that's comforting. I've been pretty diligent about testing my blood and sticking to the diet they gave us. She's head down and she's having fun pushing down as hard as she can. The only slightly concerning thing was that my cervix has started shortening again. In fact, it's the shortest that it's ever been - 1.7cm. The doc said it was expected - so I'm not going to get too worried about it. I also got my weekly 17 p shot at that appointment. It's hard to believe that it's been 11 weeks of going to the nurses, bending over, and getting a horse needle injection in my backside! The one interesting thing is that I'm only up about 10 lb in this pregnancy. Now anyone who knows PCOS is that weight gain is the bane of our existence - so this has been a pleasant surprise. I'm not going to struggle to get my body back after this pregnancy.
So I'm a happy camper. Our baby stretches a lot and is pushing the limits of my womb. It's a pleasant confirmation that she's doing just fine. Hopefully all will go well and I can get over the guilt I used to feel about not being able to provide a suitable womb to bring a child into this world.
No comments:
Post a Comment