40 things I never thought I'd do until I got pregnant

1. Wipe the crack of my ass with medicated preparation H wipes for 2 weeks with no success
2. Pee every 20 minutes
3. Eat pickles and ginger snaps
4. Sleep on a couch for 15 weeks 
5. Suffer through 8 months of vivid dreams
6. Stick my fingers 4 times a day to test my glucose
7. Sleep with my legs elevated for days at a time
8. Spend 3 months researching cribs
9. Crochet 8 blankets out of boredom
10. Fantasize about being able to drive my car to Target and just shop
11. Wake up to pee 3 times a night
12. Be unable to get out of bed until I feel a baby kick inside of me 
13. Pay someone to keep me company at home while on bed rest
14. Get injected in my butt every week for 15 weeks
15. Reduce my wardrobe to 7 items that I could wear for every day of the week 
16. Be restricted from going upstairs more than once a day 
17. Do the toilet paper dance( constantly looking in toilet paper after wiping to look for signs of bleeding)
18. Envy another woman because her belly was bigger than mine
19. Be awake and babbling for a surgery while my legs dangled in a harness
20. Get acupuncture
21. Confine myself to the house for almost 4 months
22. Celebrate that the highlight of my week is a trip to see a doctor
23. Take 10 home pregnancy tests in 3 days because I kept getting different results
24. Yelp when I take my bra off because my breasts were so sore
25. Worry that I wasn't gaining enough weight
26. Sleep with a pillow between my legs
27. Practically live in a bathroom
28. Have a test tube baby
29. Fantasize about all the cloth diapers I could buy
30. Go more than 6 months without eating sushi
31. Give up diet drinks
32. Inject myself with medications up to 4 times a day 
33. Sleep for 14 hours straight
34. Fall asleep while driving (yes that really happened to me)
35. Eat string cheese 3 times a day for the protein
36. Pray for a normal bowel movement
37. Shave my nether regions blindly and not care if I missed patches of hair
38. Be happy to see additional pounds on the scale
39. Ogle over a high-end diaper pail
40. Go more than 8 months with no exercise