She gave me water and I guzzled all of it. I was able to drink the water, but when I tried to swallow my saliva, I still couldn't will my throat to respond. I had a passing moment of panic - thinking that my throat was somehow destroyed. I don't know how long I was in the post operative recovery unit - but it took me a very long time to feel normal. All through this - my throat felt like I'd been swallowing flour. I felt incredibly dry all over. My lips were cracked beyond belief. Then I remember being told, I'll be moved to my recovery room.
I remember watching myself roll to the room. I was transferred to a bed by the nurse and a tech. The pain was unbearable. It's like my insides were screaming every time I moved. Before I knew it - my husband and mom were there. My husband explained that the surgery went well. He explained that the doctor had scar tissue removed. My next question was - what about my right ovary??? My husband looked at me, his eyes dropped a little, and he said - he did the wedge resection on your right ovary. I gasped and asked him why. He said he had no idea why. The tears started flowing. A panic set in. I went into this surgery accepting the idea that I might lose one ovary but I still had my other lame ovary to work with. Now I was hoping nothing bad happened to the other one.
My mother was pro-wedging all along - so I could see she was secretly happy that he did it. I don't share her sentiment - I don't believe wedge resections are a viable treatment for PCOS and I certainly don't believe they are worth the risk. I simply felt violated. I felt like I let myself be vulnerable and someone did exactly what I didn't want them to. In between fits of tears and racing thoughts, I decided that I would let him explain what happened and why he did the wedge resection despite my not wanting one.
Later on the doctor came to visit me. We spoke at length. He mentioned that I had a lot of adhesions/scarring from my surgery when I was a baby. He said it complicated the surgery and I will be in more pain than usual because of that. He basically had to remove all of the scarring from my bowels before he could start the surgery. I asked him about the wedging. He seemed genuinely shocked that I didn't want it. At first he claimed I agreed. Then he said there was nothing in my file about not doing the wedging and said maybe no one told him. Then he finally just apologized and explained that although he thought it was a good thing for me - he was sorry. Funny enough - my anger went away at that point. I could only think that - what's done is done. There's no point in lamenting for my ovary - he can't un-wedge it.
The next set of hours were a series of crying spells, wincing in pain, and simply painful recovery. They were giving me percocets for pain. I don't have a lot of experience with percocets but I remember that they were the one pain killer that did work best for me. However, this time around, they weren't working at all. I kept asking for more - and the night nurse even gave me morphine on top of it. Despite all of that - the pain never got under control...
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