Rationale of an early POAS’er

So I’ve gone over the charts over and over. I’m pretty much sure I’m about 3 days from being able to POAS with any kind of accuracy. I already went to the pharmacy and bought 5 early response HPTs so I can test pretty much every day until my beta. I’m approximately 4 days since my transfer, and I know I shouldn’t be getting a positive yet. That being said, I looked in my guest bathroom and found an extra HPT lying around from my last cycle. So I tested. It wasn’t a early response test. I didn’t expect to see anything – but I tested anyway.

I actually spent 2 days rationalizing why I would test early this time around:

1. I won’t consider a BFN on a HPT as a real BFN. The only BFN that counts is from my beta. I promised myself not to get upset if I see a BFN.
2. If I am pregnant, and my HPT can help me know that sooner, I’d rather put myself out of my misery of anxiety as early as possible.
3. Last cycle I waited all day for my doctor to call and I was literally glued to my phone. Don’t want to do that again.

So I tested today 4dpt and it was a BFN. Well, I actually think I may have seen an extremely faint line, but that might have been the result of me staring at the test way too long and wishful thinking. I didn’t see anything concrete enough to tell me it was a BFN or anything to give me hope that it wasn't. I didn’t expect to see anything, so I wasn’t disappointed. I kind of think it was like popping my POAS cherry for this cycle. I’m pretty much going to test every single night until I take my beta. I know people say don’t test early, but I think it’s ok if you keep a level head. I keep realistic expectations about what the HPT will provide – and just hope for the best.