Thursday, November 4, 2010

1 day till beta - Hi my name is Flowerchica and I'm a POAS addict.

This 2ww has been a total emotional roller coaster ride. The cycle was very easy - not painful at all. In fact it felt too easy . I am angry with myself for taking a HPT early, because I became totally enthralled with them. I had to keep testing - one in the morning and one in the evening. Since I tested early, I saw a very faint positive. So faint I couldn't be sure I saw it. that must made me bananas! I didn't feel any better. Now I was dreading waiting another 12 hours to test again. Then I tested and it too was a very faint positive. Now I'm not sure I've seen it at all. So I go to bed and was unable to sleep properly. I woke up at 3 am that night - UGH! I took another test - and this time I didn't want to squabble with the lines, so I took one with lines and one digital. The digital confirmed it with text Pregnant. One would think that getting a BFP would make me feel better but now my mind shifted to wondering about the quality of the BFP. I was able to pull myself back from trying to measure how dark the lines were, but I realized I'll probably still test every morning and night until my beta because I want to be sure there's still a pregnancy in there. Double UGH! I know there's no good rationale behind this. I understand why they advise women not to test. The testing doesn't relieve anything.

I'm absolutely terrified I'll have a bad beta tomorrow. I just want this to be all over and I either know I"m not going to have a baby or I find out that there's a strong little embryo in there! Triple UGH!

No comments:

Post a Comment