This 2ww has been a total emotional roller coaster ride. The cycle was
very easy - not painful at all. In fact it felt too easy . I am angry
with myself for taking a HPT early, because I became totally enthralled
with them. I had to keep testing - one in the morning and one in the
evening. Since I tested early, I saw a very faint positive. So faint I
couldn't be sure I saw it. that must made me bananas! I didn't feel any
better. Now I was dreading waiting another 12 hours to test again. Then I
tested and it too was a very faint positive. Now I'm not sure I've seen
it at all. So I go to bed and was unable to sleep properly. I woke up
at 3 am that night - UGH! I took another test - and this time I didn't
want to squabble with the lines, so I took one with lines and one
digital. The digital confirmed it with text Pregnant. One would
think that getting a BFP would make me feel better but now my mind
shifted to wondering about the quality of the BFP. I was able to pull
myself back from trying to measure how dark the lines were, but I
realized I'll probably still test every morning and night until my beta
because I want to be sure there's still a pregnancy in there. Double
UGH! I know there's no good rationale behind this. I understand why they
advise women not to test. The testing doesn't relieve anything.
I'm absolutely terrified I'll have a bad beta tomorrow. I just want this
to be all over and I either know I"m not going to have a baby or I find
out that there's a strong little embryo in there! Triple UGH!
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