Thursday, October 28, 2010

2WW anxiety - It’s just me, 8 days to go, and a racing mind

I consider myself a very rational person, but here I am on my first FET after a failed IVF cycle and I’m 2 days into my 2WW…… Yes I confess, I’ve googled “early 2WW symptoms FET”. I’ve walked around my house very gently, keeping my feet flat on the ground to prevent too much up and down motion. I’ve hesitated to go up the stairs because I don’t want to disk squeezing my uterus. I’ve actually tried to breathe deeply and fight the urge to cough for fear of squeezing my little embryos out. I looked at a hot dog and was so unsure if it was safe to eat – I nuked the hell out of it twice before eating it. I’m only eating warm foods and drinks at the insistence of my Acupuncturist. I keep my laptop near my knees so it doesn’t rest on my womb. I’ve sat silently and tried to listen to my belly to see if there’s anything going on in there. I’ve refused to lift anything over 5 lb.

This 2WW is horrible. It’s like this little monkey on your back. You can ignore it for a few minutes at a time, but it’s ALWAYS there – just waiting for you to acknowledge it. I’m not obsessing over this, but it is kind of frustrating waiting for something I have no control over. I so so so hope at least one of my beans turns into a sticky bean. A VERY STICKY BEAN!

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