Day 4 of the 2WW

Ugh, so I'm a little irked that I am not feeling more on this 2ww. Last time my uterus was dancing in all directions, but then again, that resulted in a BFN - so who knows. My boobs hurt like all hell when I take my bra off, but that's courtesy of the progesterone supplements.

Last night I felt my first twinge down there. Just a sharp sensation in my lower belly and then a flash of something on my lower back. Then it was gone. No idea if that was anything or something to get excited about. I also got real tired last night after dinner. Around 8:30 pm I was pretty much dozing off. I have no idea if that means anything either - double ugh!

I'm all frustrated, because the first time I was pregnant I found out at 9 weeks. Not a sign in sight! I didn't have any spotting, cramps, cravings, mood swings, or anything. In fact I only found out because suddenly I was completely exhausted and I thought I had a virus.

I've also had some crazy dreams lately. One where I was a mother holding our new child, another where I had a pet cougar. Another one where I was in a TV show (live studio ) and we were all on chairs 6 feet in the air on a small pole, so that we couldn't get up and leave. I have no idea of crazy dreams are a sign either.

6 days to go and I'm tempted to use a FRER test the day I test with my doctor. I hate waiting all day to get the results.

2WW anxiety - It’s just me, 8 days to go, and a racing mind

I consider myself a very rational person, but here I am on my first FET after a failed IVF cycle and I’m 2 days into my 2WW…… Yes I confess, I’ve googled “early 2WW symptoms FET”. I’ve walked around my house very gently, keeping my feet flat on the ground to prevent too much up and down motion. I’ve hesitated to go up the stairs because I don’t want to disk squeezing my uterus. I’ve actually tried to breathe deeply and fight the urge to cough for fear of squeezing my little embryos out. I looked at a hot dog and was so unsure if it was safe to eat – I nuked the hell out of it twice before eating it. I’m only eating warm foods and drinks at the insistence of my Acupuncturist. I keep my laptop near my knees so it doesn’t rest on my womb. I’ve sat silently and tried to listen to my belly to see if there’s anything going on in there. I’ve refused to lift anything over 5 lb.

This 2WW is horrible. It’s like this little monkey on your back. You can ignore it for a few minutes at a time, but it’s ALWAYS there – just waiting for you to acknowledge it. I’m not obsessing over this, but it is kind of frustrating waiting for something I have no control over. I so so so hope at least one of my beans turns into a sticky bean. A VERY STICKY BEAN!

Day 2 of the 2WW ( err 10 day ) Round 2

Well..... a few thousand dollars later and I've paid to have 2 more eggs dropped my belly to hope for the best. This time I had a FET cycle instead of a IVF cycle and I definitely liked it better. I'm still nicknaming myself a fish because they got 44 eggs out of me. Initially I thought I got only 6 embryos and that 2 had died. Turns out only 1 died - which is awesome because it means I spent 1 egg on IVF, 2 eggs on this cycle, and still have 2 frozen embryos left. Then even better - I still have 17 eggs in the bank!

Anyway I took the whole week as a work from home to try and keep my stress levels down. I did acupuncture for this cycle to help calm my nerves. Plus the research says it helps.

My transfer went off without a hitch. In fact it almost seemed too easy. Last time the doctor had to go digging for my cervix! Now it's pretty much up to my embryos and my womb to play nice and give me a BFP. I go back to work tomorrow, but I hate the waiting. After all I have no control over anything. The progesterone has given me a progesterack. And for those of you who are wondering what that is - well I jacked the term from another woman's post on another forum. It's pretty much your breasts after being on progesterone. Mine are HUGE!

I can only help that the relaxed nature of this cycle and using more than 1 egg will increase my odds of getting pregnant.