So I popped the little white pill today

Ugh - I am cringing to be back at this point - but 2 years after my child is born - I'm up 15 lb and I can't seem to shake this weight. I took a run at running to try and drop some pounds - no luck. I went on a sugar detox but gained the 5 lb back that I'd lost. So I'm going back to the devil!!!

There's nothing like the first swallow. You sit there knowing you're going to get sick soon enough. So here I am a sitting on the couch - waiting for my stomach to start gurgling .... I've hated glucophage but it helped me get pregnant. It helped me be a mother. So it's just a nasty part of my life ......

Squatting towards TTC#2 and motherhood #2

 

So my random last post was really about this. It's time for me to start getting in shape. I've been doing some random running and rowing at the gym. A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I was immediately intrigued. I miss my physical strength and muscle definition. Although this doesn't look easy - it's worth doing it. 

I started 2 days ago . I started on day one doing just 25 squats at a time. Yesterday I had to break it up quite a bit - but today - Wooohooo - I did 10 in the morning, and then 50 straight at lunch!

This is going to hurt like crazy - but the overall burning sensation in my thighs is absolute proof that this is doing something for me!

On another note - I got a reference for a fertility clinic out here. I'm excited to start getting my PCOS checked, weight down and finally onto IVF #2 :)

I did 55 squats today!

It's the first step in my getting back on the horse! I'm doing a 30 day squats challenge..... More to come about that!

But for now - besides the warm gentle trembling in my legs - I'm feeling good!

Sigh... that was a long hiatus - it's time to get back to business

I can't even think of an image that will do justice to this post - so there won't be one today. I've been gone for quite a while. This hiatus was not without merit. Before I start - let me put down the highlights of my time away:

1. I decided to move to South Africa
2. We moved to an apartment and put half our stuff in storage
3. A few months later - we shipped all of our belongings ( including our pets) to Cape Town
4. For a few months we lived with my parents 
5. We put our daughter in a Montessori school
6. We're now in our own home and trying to adjust to life here 

Although my fertility battle has been this nagging little monkey in the back of my head, I haven't been able to bring it to the forefront until today. I was due to have another FET cycle in May but I finally admitted that I'm not super woman - and I need to let myself rest. Yet here I am in April, and I'm feeling the itch. It's like that swelling sensation. It's a burning feeling that is telling me  -it's time to get to work trying to make another baby. 

I'll be doing it this time without rosy tinted glasses hiding the realities of TTC behind a pink haze. I know just how difficult this is going to be. I'm also doing this with only one ovary. Given how I lost my other one - I can only hope that I don't get another tumor that will cost me my last one. I know I need to lose about 15 lb before I try to do this. I know I need to start taking metformin again. I haven't geared up the energy to start praying to the porcelain God again. I know that there's so much that I need to do - but today is the first day that I really felt like doing it. 

My daughter deserves a sibling - or maybe two if my body is willing. So I'm going to start my metformin tomorrow. Well glucophage - metformin is more than I can tolerate. I've already started running. Now if I can just give up fruit juice - we'll be back on track.