Trying to Conceive is only fun if you aren't trying to conceive! Pregnancy sucks. It does a number on your body. Labor is the craziest most unnatural thing you will ever endure. Holding your baby for the first time is one of the best feelings you will ever have. Nothing comes close to seeing a new life be created. Then comes the reality of being a new mother!
First - the sleep deprivation is just horrible. It's completely mind numbing. Couple that with a screaming baby and it's no wonder evil people use sleep deprivation and the sounds of babies screaming as torture methods. Also - consider the reality that it is very possible that you may go for 6 months without a decent night's sleep. Lucky parents are able to get their babies to sleep through the night within 3 - 4 months. I was blessed with a baby that started sleeping 6 straight hours at 5 weeks and 8 hours straight at 9 weeks. You will also get a sort of spider sense. If your baby's breathing patterns shift - you wake up. If they cry - you wake up. If they cough - you wake up. If they sneeze you wake up. If they move - you wake up. If they stop breathing - you wake up. You're going to become hyper vigilant over night.
Secondly - it's normal to feel some level of resentment towards your baby, your pregnancy, your significant other and your new situation. You'll realize very quickly that you've given up your freedom. Your baby will come before everything - showers, using the bathroom, eating, sleeping, etc. I've had that emotional breakdown which was perfectly summed up in a pathetic wail by me " My life is over !!!"
Third - Breastfeeding sucks. There's nothing natural about it - don't listen to all of the BS about how it's the most natural thing on earth. Babies have to learn how to breastfeed and they do it while chewing on your nipples. You will learn to bear through the pain or start spending a fortune on formula.
Fourth - Loss of your identity. Yes - no one really cares about you once that baby is out. You'll even notice that your parents will call you just to find out how the baby is doing. You have just been redefined as the mother to the person that matters.
Fifth - You are going to have to make special effort to tend to your relationship. It's hard to feel sexy when a baby has been chomping on your nipples. You'll find that child rearing may rearrange your nether regions a bit too. Not everything will be exactly where you left it.
We're made to feel bad because we have negative feelings about motherhood - but they are perfectly normal. Every time I look into my baby's smiling face I remember why I do this - but there are plenty of times when I'm sleepy, I'm holding her to my chest and she's a blur of kicking, drooling, yelling, and crying all at once. In those moments - all I am doing is wishing she will run out of energy. To be a mother is to make an incredible sacrifice. You will give up your body, your sense of identity, your sleep, and your way of life for someone who will be absolutely dependent on you. Your baby won't love you. They will not say thank you and will have ZERO appreciation for what you are doing until perhaps they hit their 20's and 30's. It is thankless work that is absolutely rewarding if you stick it out until the end. This is the reality you must come to terms with before you have a child. I'm loving the fact that I've done this. And I love my daughter in ways I didn't know were possible - but I also know how much I'm giving up to make this work.
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